Seattle Sun Newspaper - Vol. 8, Issue 7, July 2004
Copyright 2004 Jane Lotter. Do not use without written permission.
JANE EXPLAINS:
Bling-bling diary
By JANE LOTTER
May 16
Next week will attend opening of city's new downtown Central Library. Filled with anticipation. Confused, however, by architecture critic Herbert Muschamp's glowing review in today's New York Times, which says, "Intense vertigo gives way to erotic stimulation." Is Muschamp talking about Seattle's new library or Brad Pitt?
May 17
Nervous over City Librarian Deborah Jacobs assertion concerning new building: "When people walk in, they will be awash in the natural light and voluminous space." Confess to anxiety at being awash in anything. For safety's sake, will attend opening ceremonies garbed in protective spacesuit or scuba gear.
Critic Muschamp declares librarian Jacobs is "now up there with popes and princes." Jacobs herself proclaims, "At last, the people of Seattle will have the library they deserve."
Is obviously power-mad Jacobs making promise or threat?
May 21
Media predicts 30,000 people on opening day. Am reminded of 1999 WTO riots. Must remember to avoid Starbucks at all costs, including Up-with-People-sounding "Starbucks Teen Center" on fourth floor of new building. Have abandoned spacesuit idea. Inspired by WTO marchers, will arrive at Central Library costumed as giant sea turtle or immense lobster.
May 22
Library opens tomorrow. Cannot sleep for excitement. Lying in bed, keep closing my eyes and seeing the name Rem Koolhaas. Realize name of internationally acclaimed architect is anagram for "Look! Me! A Rash!" as well as "Shrek! Moola! A!" Significance?
May 23
Today's the day. Hurriedly eat breakfast and throw on giant sea turtle costume. Will drive trusty 1980 Volvo, picking up sister, Barbara, on the way. (Yes! Carpooling! Save the Whales!) Oh, no. Due to enormous sea turtle costume, cannot fit in Volvo. Am persuaded by loved ones to come out of my shell. Appear at Barbara's dressed in usual stylish garments (running shoes, jeans, Eddie Bauer T-shirt).
May 23
We arrive! People everywhere. Must confess I think exterior of glittery new library resembles drunken wedding cake. Am aware from modern, up-to-date design point of view, this is not a bad thing.
Chic, glassy interior strangely reminiscent of airport terminal. Expect to find baggage carousel next to those chartreuse-colored escalators. Until today, had not known what color chartreuse is. Now am quite sure will never get it out of my mind.
Library uses own invented jargon to label various rooms/areas: Living Room, Mixing Chamber, Book Spiral.
Proceed to Living Room, expecting to find husband, Bob, stretched out on sofa. In actuality, Living Room contains cloying FriendShop, periodicals, dreaded Starbucks Teen Center.
Move on to Mixing Chamber. Had pictured waiters there dispensing opening-day martinis. Alas, discover Mixing Chamber is not (as name might imply) a cocktail lounge, but some sort of reference desk.
Book Spiral is spiral of books. Works for me.
Share with Barbara another quote from Muschamp's New York Times review, which says of new building, "Who knew that dated disco bling-bling makes an ideal motif for a 21st-century library?"
Bling-bling?
"Like flashy jewelry," Barbara explains. "Glitz. Shiny stuff. Bling-bling."
Am beginning to think I, too, could get top-notch job as highly respected architecture critic for New York Times and spend my days writing influential gobbledygook.
No, no. Must keep open mind about new Central Library. Must not think emperor is wearing no clothes. Must not give in to growing panic that during design phase certain responsible parties spent excessive amount of time in Mixing Chamber.
"Libraries are the cornerstone of democracy," Jacobs said in surprisingly touching we-the-people opening day speech. Agree with her on that point, at least. As for the rest, time will tell. Bling-bling.
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E-mail Jane at janeexplains@comcast.net.