Seattle Sun Newspaper - Vol. 7, Issue 7, July 2003

Copyright 2003 Seattle Sun. Please feel free to use the article and photos below in your research. Be sure to quote the Seattle Sun as your source.

JANE EXPLAINS

Swim at your own risk

By JANE LOTTER

Ho, ho. It's a bright sunny day, and soon I'll take the kids swimming at Green Lake.

But, first, there's something important I have to remember. Something very important. What is it?

Oh, yes! I have it! This summer, for the first time in decades, one of the two public beaches at Green Lake won't have a lifeguard. Because of budget cuts, I guess.

That seems odd, though, doesn't it? I mean, considering Green Lake is the most used park in the city. You'd think Seattle Parks and Recreation would cut back on something else. Something without the word "life" in it.

Well, never mind. Naturally, my family will swim at the beach that's protected by lifeguards. Ah, but which one is that? Let me think.

I know Green Lake has the East Beach and the West Beach. But which one features lifeguards? And which one offers death by drowning?

Goodness. This reminds me of that old story, "The Lady, Or the Tiger." Which beach do I choose? One potato, two potato. Ha-ha. This would almost be amusing, if it weren't for the fact that it's life threatening.

I wonder if Mayor Nickels is concerned that budget cuts have reduced the number of lifeguards at Green Lake. Then again, I wonder if the mayor even knows how to swim. For that matter, I wonder if the mayor could be used as some sort of flotation device.

Forget the mayor. It's every citizen for herself. The kids are getting impatient; they want me to drive them to the lake. They're changing into their bathing suits, slathering on waterproof sunscreen, and blowing up their giant inflatable goldfish. I need to know which Green Lake beach has lifeguards, and I need to know now.

I'll look on the Web.

OK, so here I am at the Seattle Parks and Recreation Web site (www.cityofseattle.net/parks). And what an information-packed little site it is. There's even a bit featuring tips on How to Avoid Swimmer's Itch. One of the tips is this: "Swim away from shore. Most parasites are found in shallow water. Swimming, rather than wading, reduces the risk of contacting Swimmer's Itch."

Swim away from shore? AWAY!? But there's no lifeguard!

There's a shortage of lifeguards at Green Lake, yet Parks and Recreation is recommending we all swim away from shore.

Well, I don't think so. I can live with Swimmer's Itch. I can live with an unsightly skin rash. But somehow I don't think I can live with drowning. After all, what's a little transient itching compared to the post office permanently forwarding your mail care of Davy Jones' locker?

The kids gather round, asking me to please hurry and get off the computer. But I still haven't found what I need to know. Sweat moistens my brow as I desperately search the Web site; I feel like Swimmer's Itch ate my brain. I'm still trying to find which Green Lake beach has lifeguards. More to the point, which beach DOESN'T.

Wait! Here it is! The information I'm looking for! The Web site says, "Due to budget reductions, Pritchard and East Green Lake beaches will not have lifeguards in 2003."

So it's the East Beach, the one by Evans Pool, that we'll avoid at all costs. It's the West Beach, the one by the Bathhouse Theater, where we'll frolic like happy dolphins. Dolphins with lifeguards.

(By the way, I don't have a clue where Pritchard Beach is, but my heart goes out to anyone swimming there. Be careful, for goodness sake, you Pritchard Beachers! Practice the buddy system! Don't go in over your heads!)

The Web site also says, "For your safety, please select one of the [city's] seven lifeguard beaches."

Oh, please. What do they think I've been trying to do for the last several minutes?

At least now I know which beach my family will swim at this summer. We pile into the car and head west. When we get to Green Lake's West Beach, it's surprisingly crowded. Packed to the gills, you might say, with Seattle citizens who seem to think lifeguarding isn't a frill.

The lifeguards are doing lifeguard-y things. One of them sits in the tall chair in the hot sun; another is in a rowboat watching over the divers. They give swim tests to kids who want to paddle out past the ropes. They're making sure every kid is safe.

You know, I once saw two Seattle lifeguards pull a very large man out of the water. The man was in a great deal of trouble, and these two young people (they just barely qualified as adults) had that guy up on land in moments. It was amazing. Talk about your superheroes.

In closing, let me offer my condolences to you folks at Pritchard Beach wherever that is, exactly, and I'm sure it's lovely on the loss of your lifeguards. Those of us who swim in Green Lake know all too well how you must feel. Vulnerable. Very vulnerable.

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E-mail Jane at janeexplains@attbi.com.