Seattle Sun Newspaper - Vol. 7, Issue 1, January 2003

Copyright 2002 Jane Lotter. Do not use without written permission.

JANE EXPLAINS:

Best Year Ever

By JANE LOTTER

So here I am lying on the sofa reading the latest issue of "Woman's Day" (yes, I am my mother), and I'm thrilled to find my favorite article. You know this article. Of course you do! With a few variations, this article surfaces every year about this time in just about every publication you can think of: "Family Circle," "Parade," "Vogue," "Soldier of Fortune." They all run it. In fact, for all I know it's appearing on the page opposite this one.

It's the article encouraging you to take stock of the year just past while eagerly anticipating your accomplishments in the year to come. It's the "Have the Best Year Ever" article.

Reading this article inspires me to write my New Year's resolutions in the margins of the magazine. About the time I finish doing that, my husband Bob strolls in. "I've made a list of resolutions," I say. "I'll read them to you. No. 1: Give up cigarettes."

"Darling, you don't smoke," Bob points out.

With a flourish, I cross off the first item on my list. "Smoking cessation: Accomplished!" I announce. I beam at him, and he makes a place for himself next to me on the sofa. "Just out of curiosity, what's next on your list?" he asks.

I look down and try to read my own writing. "No. 2: Get more enjoyment out of life," I say.

"Darling," Bob says, "I'll try to put this gently, but I can't imagine how anyone could possibly get more enjoyment from life than you do. No one I know is able to wring more delight out of the trivial events of an otherwise commonplace existence."

"True," I say with a sigh. "I overflow with joie de vivre. That's why except on special occasions, such as the days of the week I avoid spirits. Life is intoxicating enough for me.

"But with the help of this 'Woman's Day' article," I continue, "I'm hoping to have the best year ever. The article suggests I begin by reviewing the year just past. Perhaps you, too, dearest, would like to analyze the last 12 months, the better to spot areas ripe for improvement."

"Sure," Bob says. "I'll give it a shot. I guess I'd start with the City of Seattle budget crisis, the Seattle City Light budget crisis, the Seattle Public School budget crisis, and then move on to things like the Alaskan Way Viaduct and Seattle's transportation problems."

"No, no," I say. "This is about PERSONAL improvement. Mayor Nickels will have to make his own list. Here, I'll tell you what, let's start with the accompanying quiz. Question one: What did you accomplish last year?"

"Well," he says thoughtfully, "I lived through it."

"Umm, yes," I say. "But somehow I don't think that's quite what 'Woman's Day' has in mind. Here's a different question: What's your No. 1 goal for 2003?"

"To live through it," he says matter-of-factly.

He takes the magazine from me and lays it aside. "Now it's my turn to quiz you," he says. "What's your favorite color?"

"Rainbow," I reply.

"What do the words 'Auld Lang Syne' mean?" he asks.

"It's code," I say. "It means, will the last person leaving Seattle please turn out the lights."

"Correct," he says. "Although most people don't know that. OK, here's a tricky one: Who's buried in Grant's Tomb?"

"Cary Grant," I answer.

"What about him?" Bob says with surprise.

"I love his movies," I say.

"Fair enough," Bob says. "So, anyway, now that you've given up smoking something you never started what are your New Year's resolutions?"

"To watch more Cary Grant movies," I say. "And to use those new first-class postage stamps with the picture of Cary Grant on them. From now on, they'll adorn all my correspondence. And THAT for today, anyway is my complete list of goals for 2003."

"Happy New Year, sugar," he says.

"Happy New Year yourself," I say. "And though my Magic 8 Ball told me 'Don't Count On It,' here's hoping it's the best year ever."

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E-mail Jane at janeexplains@attbi.com.