By JANE LOTTER

Official Correspondence From the Office of Bothersome Bureaucracy:

Dear Resident (that is, fish) of Thornton Creek,

As you may know, King County has agreed to purchase 3.9 acres of the 12.8-acre Northgate south parking lot. However, the County remains uncertain if it will daylight Thornton Creek on its portion of the South Lot. Therefore, because you are a fish, the Office of Bothersome Bureaucracy is seeking YOUR opinion on daylighting. Please complete the following survey and tell us where you stand (er, float) on this vital issue that will affect you, your spawn, and the spawn of your spawn for generations to come.

Remember by filling out this survey, you will help us to better understand and respond to YOUR needs (ha-ha). Use black or blue ink only.

If you are threatened, endangered, or have difficulty holding a pen with your pectoral fin, call our toll-free number (1-800-Go-Fish) and a representative from Bud's Bait and Tackle will assist you.

All ready? Begin.

1) Ethnic background (circle all that apply): a) Chinook c) Sockeye b) Coho d) Lox

2) I often feel ...a) Threatened b) Endangered c) Anxious d) In fear for my very life

3) The worst thing about being declared a threatened species is ...a) It takes the fun out of things b) You're always looking over your shoulder c) It's difficult to get life insurance

4) Due to pollution and runoff in Thornton Creek, some of my best friends are ... a) Worried about the future b) Hurt and confused c) Floating belly up

5) I do not feel safe swimming ... a) In polluted waters b) Near fishhooks c) Through that long, dark pipe (culvert) under the South Lot

6) Before I would ever swim through that pipe again, I would rather ... a) Walk b) Take a bus c) Get canned in Alaska

7) During the next 12 months, I intend to a) Purchase a recreational vehicle b) Travel abroad c) Spawn and die

8) This last question pertains to development of the Northgate area. There is some talk of building condominiums or apartments on the South Lot. Please circle the response that most closely corresponds to your level of interest ...

a) Yes! You've got me hooked! I'd definitely like to find out how I, a marine and freshwater food fish, can purchase or lease living space on or near Thornton Creek. Please have a representative call me soon so that I can get MY piece of the real estate pie, thereby ensuring my continued existence in the Northgate area!

b) Sorry, I'm not interested in purchasing or leasing at this time, but do send me a colorful promotional brochure so I can learn more about this exciting real estate investment opportunity!

c) I would prefer to get canned in Alaska.