By JANE LOTTER

"What you have here are the petrified remains of the actual, real-life mouse used by Walt Disney as the model for Mickey Mouse. And on today's market, this mummified rodent is worth, conservatively, a jillion dollars."

"Land's sake! I had no idea! My husband kept it in a jar up on the mantel."

Folks, this is Carl Furby and I hope you're enjoying this edition of Antiques Roadshow. We'll get back to the program in just a bit, but first I want to take this opportunity to ask for your support. It's people like you - not Bill Gates, not Warren Buffett, not Santy Claus - it's people like you that allow us to present outstanding shows like Antiques Roadshow. And if you want to see 'em, the place to find 'em is right here, on public television.

I want to show you the premiums we're offering tonight, because I think they're pretty great: At the $50 level you get the Channel 99 mug, with this lovely illustration on it by Dale Chihuly. Mr. Chihuly is a famous glass artist. His work has been shown all over the world - in Rome or maybe Venice. In Italy, anyway. Someplace. I don't know if you've seen his stuff, but most of it looks like giant clamshells or exploding elephant ears or something. It's just terrific. And as a special favor to public television, Mr. Chihuly has done this sort of, whatta ya call it, sort of a drawing on these coffee mugs.

I like to think these are some of the things that make living in the Northwest so special: things like public television and coffee mugs. At the $75 level, of course, you get the mug and the T-shirt. Nancy?

Thanks, Carl. For those of you watching at home, let me introduce myself: I'm Nancy Alms, chief accountant at Channel 99. And Carl's right. He's so very, very right. He couldn't be any more correct. We're desperate, and we need your money. So call us with your credit card pledge. Or send us a postcard with 50 bucks taped to it. Or leave us something in your will when you die. We don't care. Just so long as you do it now.

"I don't give a tinker's dam, Morse, who you think the murderer is! You're off the case!"

Wow! This is really compelling television, isn't it? Nancy and I are sitting here in the studio watching along with you folks at home and I can't take my eyes off the monitor. And you just know Inspector Morse, who's played by the British actor John Thaw, by the way, will sort this mystery out.

But folks, whether or not Morse continues solving these hideous murders and revolting sex crimes is really up to you. It takes your hard-earned cash to run this station. I can't say it any plainer than that. I can't. I've tried repeatedly, but nothing else comes to mind.

Now I know you've got expenses, and child support payments, and probably enough credit card debt to choke a donkey. That's not my problem. Because it's this kind of programming - did I mention Andrew Lloyd Webber? - that you won't find anywhere else.

So now, what was I saying? Oh, right: Your money. We need it.

"The infant sea otter cries frantically for his mother. But it's too late. Silently, the Great White moves in for the kill."

So if you like these sorts of programs about baby sea otters and baby pandas and that sort of thing, well, it's time to pony up. We've got volunteers down here tonight from Boeing and Microsoft and Amazon.com and Starbucks and Nordstrom and Spud Fish and Chips and they all wanna hear from you. They don't wanna hear from your neighbor, they don't wanna hear from your Aunt Edna. They just wanna hear from you.

Jane Lotter is a Maple Leaf resident.